On a survey of 100 women, 95% of them would tell you that ever since they were first exposed to the world of princesses and Prince Charming, they concocted their own fairy tale in their heads with a “Happily Ever After” ending. Wanting to be true authors of their destiny, they even went as far as to conjure up images of their wedding dress throughout their teenage years so much that when they met you, chances are they could play out their entire wedding in their minds from the menu starter to the wedding videography and photography down to the colour of the bridesmaids shoes.
And you? Hmm, not so much. Perhaps the only thought remotely close to your wedding would be about your bachelor party but cannot really relate with why a centrepiece made out of glass and pearls would be better than the floral table arrangements. If that is the case, you can relax – you can read on the most important things you should know and do as a groom.
1. Know that if you think it’s all about her…
You are 100% right! It is after all every little girl’s dream – the big white gown that makes her look like a princess, the flowers and the palpable romance in the air… paradoxically it is not only about her because the wedding is just as much about you than your lovely wife-to-be. In fact, it takes two to make a wedding! While this is true, you should also not forget – as a piece of advice – that a happy bride makes a happy you. Therefore, do your best to ensure she is happy with the preparations, get involved where needed and continue to show her that you care.
2. Know your responsibilities
As traditions go, the father of the bride will take into account the costs for the venue and catering and a lot of the bride paraphernalia. However, the groom also has some financial responsibilities which you should be aware of and discuss beforehand with your fiancee. For instance, in addition to buying her engagement ring, you are also responsible for buying the wedding rings. On top of that, the marriage license, the fee for the officiant and the rehearsal dinner for instance are all at your costs. Of course, this is how it used to be done traditionally. Nowadays, with marriages happening at a stage where groom and bride are in their late twenties or mid thirties, things have changed. It is therefore best to approach the subject together and to make a list of who pays for what so it is clear for every party involved. Besides the financial responsibilities, ensure you know what you are in charge of. The choice of a best man is yours. So is giving a wedding gift to your bride on the wedding day (nothing too ostentatious, just meaningful to remind you of this memorable occasion).
3. Do continue to woo her
Being engaged does not mean that now is the time to get hectically absorbed with work and wedding preparations only. This is the time to do more things together which affirm your commitment as a couple and to get to know each other even more at this stage. This is where it becomes really very personal and to the core of a lifetime shared together with serious discussions about money, children, house mortgage and so on. In the same breath, it is a time where you enjoy the fact that you are about to embark this journey together – make time for dates even in the weeks preceding your wedding – keep the magic of the romance alive!
4. Do your part and more
Some men have put some thoughts into the wedding, but others have not and don’t really see the need to. However, getting involved with the wedding can mean so much to your partner, more than you can imagine – it shows her how much you love her. By being genuinely interested and taking time to choose with her and giving your opinions on certain aspects will be another great bonding opportunity.
In a way, see it as a glimpse of what is to come – that you are now going to spend the rest of your life with this woman whom you love. You do want to be part of her life, to the tiniest details. Even if it means deliberating between pink gerberas or white orchids.